Eating pasta with one hand while trying to drive down a frozen stretch of road in the dark was not one of Darcy’s most well-thought-out plans. Luckily, the pasta came with a lid, and she was even able to convince Loki to put it back on for her, and to hand her the breadsticks instead. Miraculously, he didn’t even eat any of it. Even more miraculously, his complaining was limited strictly to glowering as he handed her the paper bag from the pile in the back seat. Breadsticks were much easier to eat while driving down the frozen stretch of road in the dark, not to mention warm through the bag, making them the ideal munchie food.
"I spy, with my little eye…" Darcy looked around, not seeing much at all to spy. "Something green."
"What?" Loki asked. He’d already devoured his first pizza, and was halfway through the second. Asgardians had to have black holes in their stomachs. Darcy was convinced.
"It’s a game," she said. "I see something green. Saw something green. You have to guess what it is."
"Childish," Loki said. Darcy expected him to give in and guess anyway, but all he cared about was the food in front of him.
"Oh, come on. You have to play," Darcy practically begged. Her day had seriously sucked from the moment she woke up, and she didn’t even care if she was being childish. She wanted to play I Spy.
"I spy you shutting up," Loki said, before stuffing his face again.
Darcy cackled, and almost choked on her breadstick. "Oh my god, what the hell? Be nice."
Loki apparently decided ignoring her was preferable to being nice. He munched on his pizza and watched out the window as they passed by miles of blackened nothing. The only thing Darcy could see in front of them was falling snow, and the occasional flicker of reflective paint on the road. She had seriously misjudged this plan, and had regretted not staying in town from the moment they left. She probably could have convinced Loki to stay if she tried, but at the time she had been feeling good and didn’t want to argue. She should have argued. The wind was starting to kick up in addition to heavier snow, and driving was definitely a two-handed, full concentration job. She dropped her breadstick back into the bag and planted both hands on the steering wheel at the ten-and-two position she almost never actually used.
"Put your seatbelt on," Darcy said, not looking over to Loki. Even though she wasn’t watching him, she could still tell that he wasn’t listening. "Loki, put your seatbelt on. I mean it."
He still didn’t listen, and chose instead to turn around to toss the empty pizza box into the back. While he was still turned around and fishing about for something else, wind and frozen tarmac conspired with one another, and a sheet of dry snow swept across the road, nearly taking the car with it. Darcy yanked hard on the wheel to stay in her lane, and for a treacherous second, thought she’d over corrected. The car swerved sharply, but she held it together, just barely. Loki fell back into his seat, glaring around at anything he could find to glare at.
"Put your seatbelt on," Darcy told him again.
This time, he listened. He sat back in his seat and watched out the window like he expected to see whatever had tried to push them off the road.
"Perhaps we ought to–"
He never got the chance to finish that sentence. Or if he did, Darcy didn’t hear it. The car hit another sheet of dry snow, taking the car halfway into the oncoming lane. Darcy tried to correct against it, and suddenly found more traction than she expected. The car swerved sharply to the right, and when she tried to control the skid, she only hit more dry snow and lost control completely. The car went straight over the oncoming lane, and into a tall drift on the other side of the highway. For being so light and fluffy, hitting it was like hitting a brick wall, even without the airbag punching her in the face and trying to break her nose. Darcy leaned back in her seat, covering her face with both her hands, and tried to figure out if she was bleeding. It took her a few seconds to even register Loki next to her, fighting off his airbag and seatbelt like a maniac.
"Ow," Darcy said stiffly.
"What did you do that for?" Loki demanded, finally getting free of his seatbelt.
Darcy sighed. "It’s called weather. Don’t you have it in space?" Her face hurt too much to deal with anything, but she knew she had to deal with the fact that she had just spectacularly crashed. She fumbled around for the hazard lights, knowing they’d be useless to anyone in the lane most likely to hit them. If they were lucky, the lights would reflect off the snow to alert any westbound motorists about to run right into them.
Forcing herself to move, Darcy tried to pull the airbag away and got a good look at where they were. The car was still running, so she dropped it into reverse and tried to back out of the snow. But as well as hitting the snowbank, the car had also found itself in a ditch, and the front wheels only spun uselessly without any traction. Even with the pedal all the way on the floor, the car didn’t even move.
Sighing defeatedly, Darcy cut the ignition, but left the battery connected so the hazard lights would keep blinking.
"Why have you stopped? Get us out of here," Loki said, apparently thinking she was magic as well.
"You said you wanted to camp. We’re camping," Darcy said. Sighing, she climbed into the back and got out through one of the back doors, since they weren’t blocked in by snow. She was surprised at just how far off the road she’d gone. She thought she was still half on the tarmac, at least, but they weren’t even anywhere close.
At least they weren’t likely to get run into by a passing truck. Taking that one crumb of comfort, Darcy quickly got back into the car and reached straight for her unfinished pasta, since she at least had both her hands free and could eat it without disaster. There’d already been disaster, so it didn’t even matter. She just sat cross-legged in the back of the car and ate like there was nothing wrong at all. A perfect end to the world’s worst day.
"This is your idea of camping?" Loki asked incredulously.
Darcy kind of wanted to hit him. "This is my idea of crashing," she said around a mouthful of vaguely-warm pasta. "Be glad you put on your seatbelt, or else there’d be a you-shaped hole in the windshield right now."
She could feel Loki glaring at her, but she didn’t care. She didn’t want to camp, especially on the side of the road in a crashed car, but she didn’t have a choice. And neither did Loki, so he could just suck it.
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